Debian :: Terminal - Commands Not Taking Arguments

I'm not really new to debian. Just never encountered this before. I'm not even sure how to describe that. The first time I realized something was wrong when I tried to create a file with dd:
root@strych ~# dd if=/dev/zero of=1GFile -bs=10M count=100
dd: bad operand `-bs=10M'

I mean what, I've done that many times before! Then I noticed that some commands started to behave this way:
root@strych ~# ls --help
--help: No such file or directory

On the other hand...
root@strych ~# fish --help
fish - the friendly interactive shell
or
root@strych ~# apt-get --help
apt 0.8.6 dla i386 skompilowany Oct 4 2010 11:55:22
Usage: apt-get [options] command
apt-get [options] install

So what the hell is wrong with my shell? This is persistent with any type of access: both ssh and local (physical), it's the same when I use sh, fish, bash or whatever. It also doesn't matter which user I'm logged in with. I haven't changed .profiles or anything concerning terminal really, besides installing fish but even that was long before I realised this problem. Actually, I can't think of anything that I've done that could do this. What am I missing? The system is debian testing with kernel 2.6.32-5-686.